Updates On Remodeling Life For Chronic Illness

Where have I been? Well, certainly not on beautiful Italian mountaintops where this picture was taken (although at one point I was). It just seemed like a nice blog post picture. And it was one of the first to pop up when I was going through my pictures to make this. And I like looking…

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5 Quotes + Tips That Get Me Through Bad Days

 I am the one thing in life I can control. — Hamilton (Musical) The following line is equally good — “I am inimitable / I am an original” — but this is the one I find most helpful. You will never be able to control other people’s actions. You will never be able to control…

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Help, I’ve Relapsed And I Can’t Get Up!

I had an anxiety attack last night.  A big, long anxiety attack that arrived the moment I thought someone was upset with me, and stayed long after they apologized, everything was talked over, and it was all resolved.  It’s still hanging on a bit this morning, actually, like a sloth that’s latched its claws around…

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Accomplishments and Chronic Illness

There are many times when I am told about someone’s life — what they’re doing, what they’ve done, their plans for the future — and, be it family member, friend, or complete stranger, I get absolutely sick with jealousy.  Like, actual jealousy, not envy, and that’s even worse.  Somehow, when I hear about other people’s accomplishments, I feel like they’re taking away my own.

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When Driving in Fog — Poem

I can feel it seeping in through my ears, swirling around my mind, threatening to coat my eyes. “When driving in fog, do not turn on high beams.” But the lever is right there; light is right there! “They will only reflect off the fog and make it harder to see. Stay on low beams…

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Breakdowns, Guts, and Snot

I am reading Secrets for the Mad: Obsessions, Confessions and Life Lessons by dodie.  It is, among other things, very very much about mental health.  My Grandpa asks me what I’m reading, so I show him the cover. “Are you mad?” he jokes, and I smile. Yes.  By your standards, I am absolutely mad.    …

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You Are Someone’s Light

This is sort of an extension or offshoot of my previous post (actually, the last line of this was the inspiration for my previous post, but I’d saved it as a note on my phone a few days prior to writing the real thing and completely forgot to put it back in). So yeah, maybe…

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Depression, Four Years Later ♡ A Message Of Hope

This is probably the most blog-like blog I’ve ever written.  It’s not an essay, it’s not an opinion piece, it’s not a poem, it’s just an update on my life.  And a promise for yours. Four years ago, when I was 15, I was hit with the worst wave of depression I’ve ever had.  It…

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4 Things To Remember If You Have a Chronic Illness 

On days like this — when I try to keep moving, to not fall asleep a few hours after I’ve gotten up, to not waste the day — and fail . . . These are the days I am most prone to breaking. To believing that I will not get better. That I have no…

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