Updates On Remodeling Life For Chronic Illness

Where have I been? Well, certainly not on beautiful Italian mountaintops where this picture was taken (although at one point I was). It just seemed like a nice blog post picture. And it was one of the first to pop up when I was going through my pictures to make this. And I like looking…

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5 Quotes + Tips That Get Me Through Bad Days

 I am the one thing in life I can control. — Hamilton (Musical) The following line is equally good — “I am inimitable / I am an original” — but this is the one I find most helpful. You will never be able to control other people’s actions. You will never be able to control…

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Help, I’ve Relapsed And I Can’t Get Up!

I had an anxiety attack last night.  A big, long anxiety attack that arrived the moment I thought someone was upset with me, and stayed long after they apologized, everything was talked over, and it was all resolved.  It’s still hanging on a bit this morning, actually, like a sloth that’s latched its claws around…

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I’m Sick. Yay!

Today, I am sick.  But like, temporarily sick.  Which, for a chronically ill person, can actually be just a little bit fun.  At least, for me it is.  Is it fun for anyone besides me?  Not actually sure.  I’m just gonna keep going. Yeah, having a cold or the flu or whatever sucks, but people…

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Accomplishments and Chronic Illness

There are many times when I am told about someone’s life — what they’re doing, what they’ve done, their plans for the future — and, be it family member, friend, or complete stranger, I get absolutely sick with jealousy.  Like, actual jealousy, not envy, and that’s even worse.  Somehow, when I hear about other people’s accomplishments, I feel like they’re taking away my own.

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Rifts

As evident from my previous post, I am trying this new thing of actually using my blog like a blog.  E.g., posting things that are just life updates or inconclusive thoughts, and hoping that somehow they might actually serve some kind of purpose. This one’s about rifts politely ripping open between family members.    …

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Breakdowns, Guts, and Snot

I am reading Secrets for the Mad: Obsessions, Confessions and Life Lessons by dodie.  It is, among other things, very very much about mental health.  My Grandpa asks me what I’m reading, so I show him the cover. “Are you mad?” he jokes, and I smile. Yes.  By your standards, I am absolutely mad.    …

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You Are Someone’s Light

This is sort of an extension or offshoot of my previous post (actually, the last line of this was the inspiration for my previous post, but I’d saved it as a note on my phone a few days prior to writing the real thing and completely forgot to put it back in). So yeah, maybe…

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Depression, Four Years Later ♡ A Message Of Hope

This is probably the most blog-like blog I’ve ever written.  It’s not an essay, it’s not an opinion piece, it’s not a poem, it’s just an update on my life.  And a promise for yours. Four years ago, when I was 15, I was hit with the worst wave of depression I’ve ever had.  It…

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4 Things To Remember If You Have a Chronic Illness 

On days like this — when I try to keep moving, to not fall asleep a few hours after I’ve gotten up, to not waste the day — and fail . . . These are the days I am most prone to breaking. To believing that I will not get better. That I have no…

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